Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Machines in the shop, time for reflection?

I am at home in bed resting today because I have a cold. And I am super bummed that I had to cancel dinner plans with some friends tonight because of it. I hate being sick!!

And because both my sewing machine and my serger are in the shop any way.

And my sewing room is still not back in full working order.

I am happy to report that the walls are back in! But now I have to make some decisions about what to do with that room and I have basically no budget....... hoping a creative solution strikes me soon.

About my machines no worries, no major problems, just cleaning and tune up and in the case of my serger some minor repairs. Keeping your machines in good working order is important. They need love and attention. Which has had me reflecting on the fact that I probably don't take good enough care of myself.

I fall into the trap that many women fall into. My family, my house and even my sewing machines are often higher on my priority list than I am. I find it hard to balance making sure that everyone has what they need to be in good working order and finding some time for myself.

However I am getting better at it. I have officially gotten over feeling guilty that my 3 year old daughter is in full time pre-school even though I am not working. She loves it and it makes me a better mother to have a little time to focus on the other things in my life. But just what should those other things be? In 2010 I made some BIG mistakes. They have been hard lessons to learn but I really have learned them.

I have spent my entire life trying to figure out what I want to be. See this previous post for more on that. But I think I have finally settled on the fact that I am what I am supposed to be right now. No more waiting to figure it out! No more trying to be better, or more. I am enough, my life is really actually pretty darn good. Why do I keep rocking the boat and trying new things?

So here are my resolutions (some of them are just realizations that I need to keep in mind), starting today. Well okay maybe after I get over this cold.
  • Eat less junk and get more exercise (there is a rule that says if you are making resolutions this has to be one of them - I felt obligated and I need to actually do this)
  • Take better care of myself (see above as actions steps) and do not feel guilty about actually doing this.
  • Make an effort to visit my family more. (I have spent the last week with my mother, husband and daughter so I have a good start on this one). 
  • Spend more time with my friends. I think technology tends to isolate us and therefore we need to be mindful that 1 actual visit with a friend is worth a lot more than a few Face-book exchanges.
  • Get my sewing room back in working order and make some of the stuff I have plans to make. (I started on the shirt for my hubby but sadly did not get it finished before we set off for Disney World) 
    • Finish shirt for Eric by 1/6/11
    • Start on fancy dress for party on 1/31/11
  • Figure out how to take better pictures with my new camera.
  • Stop daydreaming about the things that could be and focus on all the wonderful things that I do have right now!
  • Give myself a break and just live life. Yes I may have goals of volunteering and all sorts of other things but right now I need to focus on the small things in my life that have been over looked. And I have to some how balance this with the rest of my resolutions. 
I think that the downside to modern life is that there are all these expectations to do more and be more and life a big full life. There are just so many options and so much out there that it can be really overwhelming to feel like you have to keep up with all of it.

But as I sit here contemplating my attempts at bigger and more over this year I realize it made me less happy not more. I have also realized that these "expectations" have been placed on me by me and no one else really. So as I make these early resolutions I think that 2011 is going to be the year of less. Less pressure, less stress and hopefully a little less belly and thighs. I can't give up all my dreams.

I hope you had a super great holiday! We had a WONDERFUL time at Disney World. It was not at all relaxing but it was tons and tons of fun! And yes it was crowded but we had a great time any way.

Happy New Year! Yes I know I am early but this year I am really looking forward to a fresh start.

Peace Out - C

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